5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That We Can’t Excuse
5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That We Can’t Excuse
A game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions about a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud. A girl might choose to be with a chubby or fat guy. In the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to respond to an extremely loaded statement: “Name reasons”
The contestants’ answers end up supplying a funny round in the minds regarding the participants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.
But my sister didn’t share this movie on her behalf Facebook web page to garner laughs from her relatives and buddies. It absolutely was quite contrary: my sibling had been mad at the round’s subject and also the responses provided. My sis composed:
“This actually bothers me personally! This is the reason people think you should be skinny/fit become stunning, to be desired, to be liked, also to deserve anything…this is never OKAY! ”
My sister tagged me on this page once you understand my back ground in fat studies and sex studies (so when a fat masculine person), once you understand I would personally concur along with her frustrations.
Image description: A screenshot regarding the Family Feud game board using the six most well known responses: “Fatty got cash” (34 away from 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The thing this specific round of Family Feud does correctly is summarize a lot of the unfortunate myths our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat guys — and relationships.
Nevertheless, calling out myths that are fatphobic demonstrably perhaps not the game’s aim. Alternatively it perpetuated body terrorism against fat figures to score laughs that are cheap. Let’s proceed through each one of the top six many popular responses in order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and damaging to men of size.
1. “Fatty Got Money! ”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable With Their Cash or Energy
The misconception: the fact this misconception is considered the most popular regarding the six offered responses — 34 associated with the 100 individuals initially surveyed provided this or a similarly-worded answer — is troubling by itself. This myth is one thing we see throughout American tradition, whether it is in movies, politics, or culture that is popular.
The general assumption is that this fat man has to have money or some sort of power if a classically attractive person of any gender is with a fat man. Why else would somebody who could presumably get with anybody they desired decide to get with a disgusting man that is fat right?
This sort of thought is incredibly damaging for the complete large amount of fat men, putting each of their value as individuals in to the cash or power they could or may not have.
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The reality: While you will find, needless to say, some individuals whom just look for relationships for cash or energy, the reality is that frequently, individuals will prefer to get with a fat man because they really wish to be with him. This myth is significantly less usually applied to thin or “fit” guys, unless of program that individual is well known to possess cash or energy. However it’s much easier for folks to know two thin or typically attractive people being together because they’re drawn to each other than each time a thin or person that is traditionally attractive become by having a fat guy for any other less shallow reasons.
2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat Individuals
The misconception: Using this myth, we come across just how people make an effort to just simply take people’s that are away fat. It suggests that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, whether or not it’s simply because they only find other fat individuals attractive or that’s all they could “get”, within the many brutal of terms.
Slipped into this misconception is really a associated fatphobic misconception: that all fat everyone loves for eating a large amount of meals, and all sorts of individuals who like to consume food are fat.
The facts: place clearly, the presumption that fat people will only seek relationships along with other fat people is false. Humans — fat, thin, plus in between — may be and frequently are drawn to a wide selection of individuals of all of the sizes and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will only ever be with fat individuals has reached the very least ignorant, or even completely fatphobic and sizeist.
So when when it comes to indisputable fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that is another misconception too.
3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Males Are Ugly
The myth: All fat males, based on this worldview, are inherently less appealing than any partner they are able to ever have. Such men’s lovers would just make use of them to look more desirable in comparison. This misconception makes the assumption that, as stated above, no body could conceivably maintain a relationship with a man that is fat they’re actually interested in him. Fat folks are just tools to presumably make their non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.
The facts: just like some individuals might pursue a man that is fat cash or energy, some individuals might just pursue fat males to look more desirable to others. In fact, though, this appears to be less frequent than this response could have us think.
I’ll keep saying the purpose, even in the event I sound like a broken record: lots of people actually find fat guys appealing!
4. “She’s In Love”
It was the only real answer that is truly mocking-free in the most effective answers regarding the board. That by itself is illustrative for the fatphobia that is entrenched display within the remaining portion of the responses. In addition is available in at 9/100, which means that away from 100 people surveyed, “She’s in love” ended up being the clear answer distributed by just nine individuals.
Exactly what are fat men viewing likely to consider their bodies and their worth as people?
5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Great For Cuddling But Not Intercourse
The misconception: this might be those types of stereotypes that are“positive many of us you will need to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all homosexual men are trendy and confident. ”
Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, although not much else in the “positive” side of stereotyping. As proof of this, among the game show participants offered a remedy that finished up perhaps maybe not being from the board: that a lady would date a man that is fat he had been proficient at sex. Steve Harvey, in the “comedic” fashion, responded as though it was many crazy solution in the entire world, with all the other participants and also the market laughing in contract. By doing this, the show promoted the idea that while fat guys can be hot and cuddly, they aren’t to be noticed as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.
The facts: the problem with “positive stereotypes” is the fact that they anyone that is automatically alienate does not participate in those stereotypes. Worse, they alienate anybody who desires to be observed much more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by society.
Truly the only redeeming quality our tradition allows fat guys — if they aren’t rich or powerful, rather than also 100% of that time — is the fact that they’re like fluffy teddies. Even though many fat males are certainly “warm and cuddly, ” it’s harmful to allow them to see this because their only good trait.
Further, just what somebody perceives to be “good” or “bad” at intercourse is frequently entirely subjective and situated in personal preference. Ridiculing the idea that fat men might be “good” at intercourse further entrenches systemic fatphobia.
6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too In Need Of Want To Be Unfaithful
The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat on the lovers, the reasoning goes, simply because they wouldn’t do just about anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they will have inside their current relationship. Put differently, they know that no body else may wish to be using them.
The reality: To bluntly put it, this will be directly incorrect. This dehumanizing survey solution assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and romantic attention.
As damning as it might be to acknowledge, fat males are in the same way likely https://www.datingranking.net/fr/latinamericancupid-review/ as any kind of males to cheat on the partners. And much more crucially, this misconception posits that fat males are incredibly ugly, no body would provide them to be able to cheat on the lovers, which, once more, normally drastically wrong to assume.
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